After my birthday, I know now that I have a select people in my life. When my birthday coming up, I wonder, who is there for me? My friends? No, but I can proudly say my family. I wonder why only my family is there for me and not my friends or someone I known for long time. I remember friends are only there when it’s good for them or they need help, but when I’ve been struggling, they’re not there for me. They turn their backs on me and say “Oh, that’s part of life. You will get through this. You’re an adult, ” instead of giving me support and returning the favor, they spit in my face.
All the thoughts running though my mind: friends are supposed to have your back, be a shoulder to cry on, someone who you share your problems with, someone who will return the favor and tell you, “it’s ok to make mistakes because you have me and I am here for you when you need me.”
I have learned that I have no friends, not even close. That’s ok because there is one thing I am very sure about my life is, I have two best friends. I’m very proud to say it’s my sister and fiance. Why did I choose my sister? She is my sister and she is one of the closest people I have in my life. I know I can rely on her for anything. When I make mistakes, she let me know and tries to help me fix it the best she can. Why my fiance? He has been with me through thick and thin. When I’m down, he holds me and tells me to forget the world because he got me! I’m in the process to fully accept that I have no friends. The best gifts I have are my fiance and family!
“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross.”
-Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy